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1. |
magnets
02:01
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Throwing magnets at a wooden board, oh, I'm looking for something that sticks
All they ever do is fall down to the floor and spell out "I should let go of it"
I'm writing rulebooks and I'm dotting every 'i,' I'm crossing tomorrow off my list
I spend each minute with myself just getting by, 'cause when you leave, the party sinks
I know I shouldn't go there anymore, but it's not like
It makes any difference, either way, I'm up all night
Who, who am I to complain? Split the difference, cut my losses
Say I'll check back, blame the rain
Who, who am I to complain? I think too much about everything
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2. |
not unless we were older
03:16
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I've told you a million times you're not someone to just get over
And I know it never happens right, you could never hold me, not unless we were older
And I woke up from a dream, the middle of the night
Found you weren't next to me, pretended it was fine
I can't make this any better
And I saw you leaving so I chased you down outside
Told you I still love you, but I know, yeah, it's alright
I can't make this any better, not unless we were older, not unless we were older
And we both know exactly how it ends, so it's safer to just keep our distance
But it always comes back to you, and I'm falling at your feet for the second time this week
I woke up from a dream, the middle of the night
Wrote you a novel about wishing we were fine
But I can't make this any better
And I saw you leaving & I chased you down outside
Told you I still love you, but I know we can't change minds
We can't make this any better
And it always comes right back to you
And I know it, and you know it, and the rest of them do, too
And I keep singing these songs to you
The first one only five days short of hitting on year two
And I know it never works out right
But when I look into your eyes, I feel like putting up a fight
And it always comes back to you
Yeah, I know it, yeah, you know it, yeah, we both know how we're doomed
Not unless we were older, not unless we were older
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3. |
don't say you love me
03:27
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Call me by the name that you used to when you used to know me
Threw away your letters like I'm supposed to, how does this still hold me
Call it all awash, move along, and take a step back from it
But I can't step back from it
I could let it go, let it all be, learn my lesson
I just keep on reading and rereading messes
If you hear all those old songs do you sing along or run far from them
Well, I can't step back from them
And who were you to tell me off, when you push me away but keep the burner on
I'd throw the game, I'd lose it all, no matter what I do for you it's all my fault
Who are you to tell me how I can and cannot feel these days
Don't say you love me like it doesn't mean a thing
Take me far away by a few years, mourn my crosses
Keep an annotated list of all the lost things
I keep setting fires to my own bridges, you call me a martyr like that's what this is
Douse it all with water, let the monster in
And who were you to tell me off, when you push me away but keep the burner on
I'd throw the game, I'd lose it all, no matter what I do for you it's all my fault
Who are you to tell me how I can and cannot feel these days
Don't say you love me like it doesn't mean a thing
Maybe I'm being just a little sentimental
Just a little well done, just a little ornamental
Or maybe I've grown just a little bolder than I was then
Maybe you ran off to drown in shallow water,
Off to drink it all down, off to sacrifice and slaughter
But maybe I've grown just a little bit older than I was then
But who were you to tell me off, when you push me away but keep the burner on
I'd throw the game, I'd lose it all, no matter what I do for you it's all my fault
Who are you to tell me how I can and cannot feel these days
Don't say you love me like it doesn't mean a thing
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4. |
november 3 (cars)
03:00
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I'd be lying if I said I never think about driving home, cold nights in spring
But there's hardly any truth in that, I lost us both some miles back
I'd be lying is I said I never think about kissing in cars, blue memories
The songs pour out like molten wax, I know your ghost, I'll give you that
So how do I dig myself out of this hole
Building a pyre for ashes I owe
Putting out flames from the fires I coaled
Whenever I reach out, the bad nights all come back to me
Blue cold on basement floors, the scene plays out on tv screens
The cycle never ends, the scrolling faces of our friends
I'd be lying if I said I never think about when I heard you'd ended things
So how do I dig myself out of this hole
Building a pyre for ashes I owe
Putting out flames from the fires I coaled
Maybe there's lessons to be learned in every stupid time I think
Of how unsure I am of how correctly I remember things
Maybe there's lessons to be learned in finding death in all the blanks
So how do I sew myself into distress
Planting the reasons for what I forget
Piling on seasons of mess after mess
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5. |
eighteen
02:55
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I don't know what I was thinking to get so caught up in your tone
You call me late at night, I'm singing callous songs through a telephone
I don't know, just had a feeling, but I knew better than accost
No matter what it was, I lost it; it comes at much too high a cost
Scare me half to death when you see me, when you look me in the eyes
Send me choirs in cathedrals if you set us both on fire
Take a breath, talk me down, only time I was ever any good at that
Take a breath, talk me down, did you ever even notice I was good at that
You knew me back when I was eighteen, an anger ringing through my bones
You spoke with gentle tone and substance, how could I not have felt so known
There's something certain in the weighing that leaves the wanting all the more
There's something certain, early morning, I let you go and settle scores
Take a breath, talk me down, only time I was ever any good at that
Take a breath, talk me down, did you ever even notice I was good at that
Think it through, call me out, only time I was ever any good at that
Take a breath, talk me down, did you ever even notice I was good at that
Take a breath, talk me down, only time I was ever any good at that
Did you ever even notice I was good at that
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6. |
connect the dots
02:21
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Picturesque heartbreak, losing love only feeds into the soundscape
Sticking through but not like glue or tape, handling it all by channeling the hate
And how I choose to cope started this fight
You brought a gun I said bring a knife
And my mother hates how I get like this sometimes
Aimless wandering, kick the pebbles out of place while I'm walking
Thinking drinking sinking feeling on repeat, on repeat
Down goes the switch and out goes the light
It's pretty hard to hate you when it's this part of the night
I always let it go
Crossing out "I loves yous" 'cause I need to take them back
One hand on your steering wheel the other on your neck
Oh, no one needs to know
I play connect the dots with the freckles on your back
I play connect the dots when we spur a new collapse
I play connect the dots when I can't get a grasp
I play connect the dots, I play connect the dots
Picturesque heartbreak, losing love just to bleeds into the soundscape
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7. |
untitled 21
03:29
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The fields that I am running from, the ferrotype of seventeen
The cigarettes you smoked to keep yourself from ever reaching me
And there's the reason I don't know how else to dwell myself to sleep
The times you didn't say it back, the tally marks all adding up
I'd like to tell you off but I'm afraid you wouldn't call my bluff
And there's the reason I don't know how else to know you've had enough
I tear it out, I fold it up, I take a picture in my room
The time I made a list of every different way you would fall through
And there's the map I traced when freckles on a back just wouldn't do
The room I am sleep in when I'm home, the bed frame, broken on the floor
A measurement of height, the top is your name, lines the childhood door
And there's the reason I don't try erasing ghosts much anymore
The place we filled with painted flowers, I run the wash twice before noon
I feel the door close and below I hear the clattering of shoes
And there's the answer for avoiding what we both know to be true
Well, is it art if it doesn't hurt me
I'm tired of seeing all the rooms where you closed doors
Was it real or am I still learning
How to tell the difference between memories and moors
Is it art if it doesn't hurt me
I'm tired of seeing all the rooms where you closed doors
Was it real or am I still learning
How to tell the difference between memories and moors
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8. |
five years
03:08
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At some point the charm wears off and you start to see it for what it was
The monster running through the woods, the violence in those thunderstorms
And I recall you tossing rocks like chaos brings you some reward
They sink in pools and others take the fall
I see it clearly now, you were never much for love
You can't just kiss me because you want to
You can't just kiss me because you want to
For five years I remember things I didn't want to
Laying in pine needles, you reach out and grab the pit of my stomach
We both know that it's not my fault, but we know I take the punishment
I'm only there 'til better things arrive, act like I love it
You teach someone you're the best that it gets, I was a child, then so grown all the sudden
You can't just kiss me because you want to
You can't just kiss me because you want to
For five years I remember things I didn't want to
You know me better than I know myself, I mold to fit you
Hazy bedroom floor or foggy car, I shrink to fit you
And now I ask the girls I know if they didn't want you
For five years I remember all the things I didn't want to
For five years I remember all the things I wish I saw through
For five years I remember all the things I didn't want to
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